Tuesday, April 23, 2013

did i have shoes

as i snuggle beside seany wrapped up in his spider man blanket he says, "mom will you tell me all about the day i got adopted?" not knowing exactly where this conversation is headed i'm quick to carefully choose the most compassionate, and caring words to be spilled from my lips.
          "it was the best day ever" i said.  " a nice lady called me on the phone and told daddy and i she had a darling little baby boy that needed a family to love him forever."
~  he will later in life learn about the foster care system, but for now we will assure him he was wanted, accepted, and loved from the very first min we met him.  in our hearts he was forever.~
          "when she pulled up in front of the house daddy and i ran to the car and unstrapped you from your car seat.  i held you close and patted your back."  seany smiled.
~  i went on and on about how small and adorable he was and how excited we were to have him home.
       "did i have shoes," he asked?  "well no, but we went to the mall and picked out the coolest pair we could find!" i could see the gears turning in his head, and then once again he smiled.
~we chatted a bit more about that special day and then i declared it was officially past his bed time.  the next morning i crept back to his room and sat on the edge of his bed.  very rarely do i catch the opportunity  to watch my boys still fast asleep, so when i do i inhale every tiny detail. after just a few short minutes seany stretched and looked over at me with one eye cracked open.
"mom" he says. "ya" i reply.  "did i have socks and pants?"  he was continuing on with the same conversation from the night prior.
"you wanna see what you were wearing on that special day," i ask with caution? ya!!!!!

~i shuffled my feet to the closet and slid open the screechy door.  ~

a colorful footed sleeper.
the only possession he came with.
i will keep it forever.
for now it means much more to me than sean, one day he may be grateful for this keepsake.

he couldn't believe he was once small enough to wear it.  no other questions came forth that day, but i know in time they will.  i often wonder what goes through his head about his past yet i'm sure it occupies my brain more than his.  i think and pray for his birth mother often and hope her heart is at peace.  i wish she new how smart and handsome he is and how much joy he brings to our family.  he's the best big brother, and most caring friend.  i'm certain  he feels and embraces our love, for the love he gives back is overwhelming.  
he is perfection. he is a true gift. he is mine.