Tuesday, August 19, 2014

the evening before and the morning after

i was getting excited about having days to myself.  time to steal my home back from the clutter and time to accomplish tasks that are a bit challenging with little ones on your heels.  on the other hand, the thought of  my children grasping at a world of more self dependence and less time under moms sheltering shield makes me weepy. 

as slender long arms wrap gently around my neck i felt a light patting on by back.  i had my face buried into seany's neck for the words he had just delivered to me created a stronger stream of tears to fall from my eyes.  just moments prior i had been in the kitchen preparing lunches for sean and vito's first day of school. i yelled to vito in the other room about the option to buy  yet thought he would rather bring since it may make an already chaotic first day a bit easier. his reply a bit shocking to me, "i'll buy pizza". how is my tiny boy gonna carry his tray full of food, make it through the line, and find a spot to sit all by himself?  i found myself overwhelmed at the thought and got emotional.  i had been good up until this point.   shopping at target for school supplies made me a little sick to my stomach, but i had convinced myself he would be fine.  his big brother would be near by and  time away from me could perhaps improve his sour behavior he has at times.  

i walked down the hall and into the boys room.  seany was already laying in bed as i set on the edge of it.  "why are you crying mom" he asked?  i told him i was sad that my babies were growing up and i wanted them to stay little.  in true seany fashion he replied "it's not the size that matters mom it's all about love".  "we will always be your babies and even when your not around you will still be in our hearts!"  how in the world does my 6 year old always know what to say?  he has such a good way of putting things into perspective in such simple meaningful words.  

the next morning we woke up and got ready for school...

seany the big first grader!!

vito starting kindergarten!!!

"z" is for zeekie poo!!!

henry and i walked them to their classrooms.  sean found his seat like he had been there for weeks, while vito on the other hand cried his little heart out:-(  we scurried through the halls and exited the doors of the school amongst the crowds of anxious students and families adjusting to the new morning routine.  besides praying vito's tears would dry up sooner than later i felt ok.  

the next morning  without much convincing i decided we would go through the drop off line.  our car inched closer and closer to the front as i gave my morning speech...your lunch and snack are in your backpack, make good choices, have a good day, and i'll see ya later.  it was our turn.  i put the car in park and the back door opened.  i handed them their book bags and asked big bro if he would help little bro find his class.  seany shook his head yes.  they swung their bags onto their backs and without hesitation seany grabbed vitos hand!  i yelled bye guys and they both replied in a "we got this" kind of voice, bye mom.  i watched in awe as my boys walked up to the school doors alone, without the help of mom, hand in hand, together.  best brothers ever, i cried, a lot.  bitter. sweet. tears. 

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